Paul Seaburn September 11, 2021

If your task was to travel back in time, perhaps to the year before a major world conflict, to warn citizens that there’s time to avoid the horrible things that happened in your past/their future, would you dribble them out one a day or give them the whole load in one massive missive? Would you seek out leaders or would you stick posters on trees and messages on bathroom walls? Those are just a few of the questions which arise as we look at the latest specific warnings of soon-to-occur disasters and major events from an alleged time traveler from 2714 who prefers to dribble them out on TikTok.

“Many of you still don’t believe I am a real time traveller from the year 2714, so remember these three dates in September.”

Yes, the warnings come just days before these events are supposed to happen from TikTok-er @aesthetictimewarper or Aery Yormany. (An anagram of aesthetictimewarper is “Speechwriter Ate It, Ma” and an anagram of Aery Yormany is “My Rayon Year” – which may help solve this enigma … or not.) @aesthetictimewarper appears to have arrived from the future on June 1 which is when he began posting his TikTok messages that he now admits few are believing. That’s why he’s hitting us with some very specific future events to prove it.

“9/11: An alien takes 4,000 skilled workers and children to the planet Proxima B, as a result of another hostile species coming here.”

Well, it won’t be long before we know if this happens. Then again, how will we know? Will the aliens leave a ransom note?

“9/14: The largest hurricane in history hits the US East Coast, mainly South Carolina, making it the first Category 6 hurricane.”

In case that 9/11/21 alien kidnapping blockbuster doesn’t happen, ‘Speechwriter Ate It, Ma’ reveals an easy one – 2021 has already proven to be a major hurricane year, so we don’t need a time traveler to warn us about once-in-a-life-if-your-lifetime-is-a-few-weeks storms.

“9/26: A chimpanzee is able to talk because of a mutation in its vocal cords, it has mysterious things to say.”

NOW we’re talking … or the chimp is talking. This could put Aery Yormany in the history books if it comes true. Then again, is this really a big reveal? We just found out this week about a talking duck that said “You bloody fool!” That’s a pretty good commentary from a duck on current events – how will the chimp top that?

In fact, the chimp BETTER top that, because ‘My Rayon Year’ isn’t doing too well in his time travel year. You may remember earlier this year when he revealed that NASA would find a mirrored Earth with opposite gravity, physics and motion on August 3rd, and an alien craft would land on Earth and an intergalactic war would kick off on August 11th. Did you miss those happenings on your favorite cable news channel? Do you remember any military operations in preparation for the invasion?

These alleged TikTok time travelers are becoming like pop psychics – more entertaining than revealing … unless you count warning humanity that it’s killing itself as a big reveal – which it would be if you didn’t hear it every day on your favorite cable news channel. It could also be why when one disappears, another pops up with similar style and reveals, just a different name and date in the future they came from.

And one more point to ponder … why are all of these alleged time travelers men? Are women of the future content to let us destroy ourselves as punishment for not listening to the women in our own present lives?

Maybe we SHOULD listen to the duck.

MU*