Paul Seaburn December 8, 2021

“Remember the date 12/25/2021, on Christmas Day something big will happen that shocks the entire world, and changes the way humans live forever.”

If you’ve been wondering what Christmas gift to get for the person who has everything … they’re already getting it from a TikTok time traveler who promises his present will be the most memorable ever. @thatonetimetraveler, who claims to be from the year 2485 (360 years from now and no communications medium better than TikTok?), posted his latest blast of revelations and instead of telling you exactly what you’re getting from Christmas, he decides to keep you in suspense like a boyfriend who hasn’t bought your present yet. We would be a little more respectful of @thatonetimetraveler if he didn’t find it necessary to say this:

“This will 100 percent prove that I am a real time traveler, don’t forget the date.”

I thought he said the 25th!

He has to say that because the last time we heard from @thatonetimetraveler, he told us to remember a different date — October 7, 2021 – when something “amazing” would be found in the Atlantic Ocean that “changes human lives forever.” What was that amazing thing again, @thatonetimetraveler? He also told us to remember 11/27/2021 when a large star in the solar system (that would be the Sun, right?) would explode and make the sky dark blue for 9-10 hours. A supernova that does nothing but turn the sky a dark blue for a few hours? Astronomers in other galaxies watching that would have been sorely disappointed … just as we are with that non-revelation, @thatonetimetraveler. Perhaps this is why he is going for something a little easier:

“In 2022, The NBA team known as the Los Angeles Lakers will defeat the Brooklyn Nets in game 7. After winning this championship, The Lakers Rajon Rondo and Carmelo Anthony decide to retire in their speech after the game. Russell Westbrook decides to stay with the lakers and Lebron James for 2 more years.”

It appears sports are still important in 2485 but not capitalization or accurate spelling. Also Marvel movies, because he predicts that eight humans will receive super powers on December 20th – talk about a nice gift from your office Secret Santa!

Wait a minute … 8 humans receiving super powers? That sounds familiar!

You’re right … it does sound familiar!

You’re right, you astute TikTok time traveler experts! Visitor from 2714 @aesthetictimewarper predicted earlier this year that visitor from 2714 @aesthetictimewarper revealed that eight humans would receive powers of telepathy, telekinesis, pure strength, enhanced endurance, and talking to animals on … on October 20, 2021. Remember how cool it was when that happened and they appeared on all those talk shows demonstrating their powers? You missed it too?

Why do so many people follow these TikTok time travelers? That question could be asked about a lot of movements, philosophies and leaders being followed these days. We humans want an edge on everybody else … and what better way to get that advantage than to know ahead of time what’s going to happen. Of course, getting the inside info at the same time as everyone else via TikTok isn’t much of an advantage. And listening to someone who keeps promising that “this will prove I’m a time traveler” is like believing someone who says “I didn’t do it … and I’ll never do it again.” Perhaps we’re so accustomed to being disappointed, we can’t give it up.

If nothing shocks your world on Christmas Day, at least enjoy the cookies.

MU*

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